My wife’s uncle died earlier this year. She had grown up with him, visiting his house every summer, and even as an adult she would make sure to see him a few times a year for a long lunch. He was always welcoming to me, too.

I couldn’t attend his memorial service, but I am thinking of him this time of year; whenever Thanksgiving was on that side of the family, everyone would meet at his house for the day. The Macy’s parade scrolled by on the TV while the turkey cooked and the mashed potatoes were made.

It was finally time to eat about an hour into the National Dog Show. Then, for dessert, there were four or five different pies. After the big Thanksgiving dinner there were always pie leftovers, so the next morning we had slices for breakfast before everyone drove off to wrap up the holiday.

I liked having leftover apple and cherry pie for breakfast. If you didn’t think about it too much, you could say you were having a healthy meal to start the day.

Thinking back on good (and tasty) memories is a great way to remember a lost loved one. If you’re coming into this end-of-year holiday season without a parent, partner, or other person you often spent special days with, try some of these methods to help manage your grief during the holidays.

Keep to your traditions

Even if one family member is no longer at the table, the others can still join together to celebrate the holidays. (I’m not sure if we’re going to meet up for Thanksgiving again this year, but I’m positive I will still be eating pie for breakfast at some point.) This can be meals, religious ceremonies, and/or gift exchanges.

The other aspects that make up your holiday season are your traditions, too, like using special dishes for meals, decorating your living space, or listening to seasonal music.

You can stay with traditions that you have always done as a family or make this year the first time you try something different — maybe you make a new kind of food for dinner, or you spend one quiet day by yourself. People close to you will understand if you don’t want to participate in the holidays the way you have in the past.

Help others in need

There are people who need help no matter what time of year it is, though the challenges seem to be magnified when the end-of-the-year holidays are approaching.

Perhaps a way you can connect with people, and keep yourself busy during the season is by giving to those who are less fortunate: taking a tag from a “giving tree” to buy a gift for a child, or serving meals at a food bank or church on the day of the holiday.

It’s OK to be overwhelmed

Grief itself can be a stressful, sad, and upsetting time, made much worse during the busy end of the year. You’re allowed to feel the way that you feel. Maybe you don’t want to celebrate that much this year, or maybe you need a few minutes to yourself even while you’re at a family gathering.

The reverse of that is true, too: even if you are grieving a loss, you don’t have to spend the holiday feeling sad and upset. Someone close you has died, but you’re still alive, and you’re still allowed to have fun. It’s OK to be overwhelmed, and it’s OK to enjoy yourself, too!

There’s nothing wrong with how you are feeling. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, either. Make the holiday season the season you want it to be — with friends or by yourself, staying with traditions or starting something new.

You can learn more by exploring our website or calling Centrica Care Navigators at 269.345.0273.