Kalamazoo has a valuable resource available to everyone in southwest Michigan: OutFront Kalamazoo, a support system for LGBTQ+ people of all ages. Part of its mission is to support under-resourced groups in the community, no matter who they are or how they identify themselves.

The people that Centrica Care Navigators staff talk with every day are learning to grow around the loss of a loved one, like a parent, a child, or their partner. For some people, though, grief is an extra challenge in addition to simply living in a world that doesn’t always accept them for who they are. Not only are they grieving, but they also have to deal with people who don’t treat their grief as valid.

“Disenfranchised grief is something that prevents you from fully acknowledging grief for someone,” says Centrica Care Navigators Grief Support Counselor Jill, who is hosting the meeting. “It could be because they died by suicide, or died from AIDS, or maybe they were a same-sex partner, but no one knew.”

Learning to live beyond grief

Serving the needs of grieving people, and making sure LGBTQ+ people are able to express themselves freely, are the twin goals of Centrica Care Navigators’ OutFront Kalamazoo grief group. The group meets this summer and fall. The first session is 6:30 p.m.-8:00 p.m., Tuesday, July 16, at OutFront Kalamazoo, 340 S. Rose St.

OutFront Kalamazoo’s Director of Services Dell says part of what people will learn in the grief group is not just how to live beyond grief, but how to live beyond grief as an LGBTQ+ person.

“Grief is less about the person who was lost, and more about the disenfranchised person,” Dell says. “When a child dies, a parent doesn’t have to ‘prove’ their child was lost; however, often with queer relationships if your relationship is not recognized or validated, the loss isn’t either. This is why this group is so necessary.”

The OutFront Kalamazoo/Centrica Care Navigators group is serving two purposes at once: it’s helping people manage their grief for a parent, a partner, a child, or loved one who has died. At the same time, it’s allowing them to be who they are, among other people who won’t judge them, and who will allow them to feel respected and valued. So much of the time they are not in a place like that — making every day all the more difficult.

“Even if you’re out, there’s still a level of emotionally protecting yourself,” Jill says. “At this meeting, you don’t have to educate and inform people about who you are. You can feel comfortable coming as you are, when the grief is already so raw.”

First of its kind

This group is the first of its kind in the southwest Michigan area. Gays, lesbians, and others have attended Centrica Care Navigators grief groups before, but never in a group specifically for LGBTQ+ people.

Jill says she had supported her mom through the loss of two female partners. She experienced firsthand how the ambiguity of a relationship can impact the grieving process. She says with this group, she wants to create a space where all the layers of identity and disenfranchisement can be tended.

Dell expects the group to be an immediate success, given the need for grief support services in general, and the opportunity for people to gather in a space where they will be treated with dignity.

“As soon as I mentioned it, I heard from people who said, ‘I need this,’” Dell says. “I wouldn’t be surprised if this group bonds and wants to continue beyond the meetings.”

Registration for the OutFront Kalamazoo/Centrica Care Navigators group is required and available now.

You can learn more about all of Centrica Care Navigators’ grief support groups at https://centricacare.org/family-support/grief-support/ or by calling 269.345.0273.